What is the best way to make friends in high school?

ByDr. Bacem BENJLIJEL

Quick answer

The best way to make friends in high school is to embrace your authentic self, actively participate in clubs and extracurricular activities that align with your interests, take the initiative to start conversations with others, and hone your social skills through active listening and showing genuine interest in what others have to say.
These strategies will help you build meaningful connections and navigate the high school social landscape with confidence.

What you will discover

High school: a whirlwind of classes, lockers, and the ever-present quest to find your place.
Did you know that nearly 64% of teens report feeling lonely at least sometimes?
That’s a lot of students navigating the social maze, hoping to connect with others.

Unfortunately, many teens struggle to find their social footing in high school.
This article offers a practical guide to help you navigate the high school social scene and build genuine friendships.
We’ll explore how to identify your passions, conquer social anxiety, initiate conversations, and maintain fulfilling friendships.
Discover what is the best way to make friends in high school and create a supportive social network.

We’ll cover everything from joining clubs to dealing with toxic friendships, giving you the tools you need to thrive socially.
Plus, we’ll delve into the impact of social media, strategies for staying connected, and why self-compassion is your superpower.

Finding Your Tribe: Join Clubs and Extracurriculars

Transitioning to high school can feel like entering a completely new world, and if you’re wondering what is the best way to make friends in high school, one of the most effective avenues is to explore your interests through clubs and extracurricular activities.

Identifying Your Interests and Passions

The first step is to identify what truly excites you.
What do you enjoy spending your free time doing?
What topics ignite your curiosity?

  • Are you passionate about sports, music, art, writing, science, or debate?
  • Do you enjoy helping others, participating in community service, or exploring different cultures?
  • Think about your hobbies, interests, and the subjects you excel in at school.

Expert Tip: Don’t be afraid to try new things! High school is the perfect time to explore different activities and discover hidden talents.

Once you have a better understanding of your interests, you can start researching clubs and activities that match those interests.

Exploring Different Types of Clubs and Activities

High schools typically offer a wide range of clubs and activities to cater to diverse interests.

Here are some examples:

Type of Club Examples
Academic Clubs Debate Club, Science Club, Math Club, History Club, Language Clubs
Arts & Music Clubs Drama Club, Choir, Band, Orchestra, Art Club, Photography Club
Sports & Recreation Intramural Sports, Hiking Club, Yoga Club, Dance Club
Community Service Key Club, Interact Club, Habitat for Humanity
Special Interest Gaming Club, Anime Club, Book Club, Environmental Club
Student Government Student Council, Class Representatives

Info: According to a study by the National Federation of State High School Associations, students who participate in extracurricular activities are more likely to have higher GPAs, better attendance rates, and improved social skills.

Think of clubs as a low-pressure way to meet people who already share your vibe.

Navigating Tryouts and Auditions

Some clubs and activities may require tryouts or auditions.
This can be intimidating, but it’s important to remember that everyone feels nervous.

Here are some tips for navigating tryouts and auditions:

  • Prepare thoroughly: Practice your skills and familiarize yourself with the requirements.
  • Dress appropriately: Choose comfortable clothing that allows you to move freely and confidently.
  • Stay calm and focused: Take deep breaths to manage your nerves and concentrate on performing your best.
  • Be yourself: Let your personality shine through and show your passion for the activity.
  • Be gracious: Whether you make the team or not, thank the judges for their time and effort.

Finding your tribe in high school starts with exploring your interests.
By joining clubs and extracurriculars, you’ll meet like-minded individuals and build lasting friendships.

Quick Summary: Joining clubs and extracurricular activities is a great way to meet people who share your interests.
Identify your passions, explore different types of clubs, and prepare for tryouts or auditions to find your tribe.

Conquering Social Anxiety: Strategies for Shy Students

Now that we’ve explored how to find your tribe, let’s tackle a common obstacle for many students: social anxiety.
If you’re a shy student, the prospect of making friends in high school can feel overwhelming, but it’s definitely achievable with the right strategies.

Understanding Social Anxiety and Its Impact

Social anxiety is more than just shyness; it’s a persistent fear of social situations where you might be judged or embarrassed.
It can manifest in various ways, such as:

  • Excessive worrying about social interactions
  • Avoiding social situations altogether
  • Experiencing physical symptoms like sweating, trembling, or a racing heart

Warning: If you suspect you have social anxiety, it’s important to seek professional help.
A therapist or counselor can provide you with effective strategies for managing your anxiety.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be a game-changer.
It teaches you to identify and challenge negative thoughts that fuel your anxiety.

Practical Tips for Overcoming Shyness

Even if you don’t have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, shyness can still hinder your ability to make connections in high school.
Here are some practical tips to help you overcome shyness:

  • Start small: Begin by initiating conversations with people you feel comfortable around, like classmates or acquaintances.
  • Prepare conversation starters: Have a few topics in mind to help you break the ice, such as asking about homework or weekend plans.
  • Focus on others: Shift your attention away from your own anxieties and focus on listening and showing genuine interest in what others have to say.
  • Practice positive self-talk: Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.
  • Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge and reward yourself for every step you take outside your comfort zone.

Building Confidence Through Small Wins

Building confidence is a gradual process.
Don’t expect to transform overnight.
Instead, focus on achieving small, manageable goals that will boost your self-esteem over time.

Here’s a step-by-step approach:

  1. Identify a small social goal: For example, saying hello to one new person each day.
  2. Break it down into smaller steps: If saying hello feels too daunting, start by making eye contact and smiling.
  3. Track your progress: Keep a journal or use a tracking app to monitor your achievements.
  4. Reward yourself: Celebrate your successes with a treat or activity you enjoy.
  5. Gradually increase the challenge: As you become more comfortable, set bigger goals, such as initiating a conversation or joining a small group activity.

Quote: “Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” – Peter T.
McIntyre

Overcoming shyness and social anxiety takes time and effort, but it’s a worthwhile investment in your social well-being.
By practicing these strategies and celebrating your small wins, you’ll gradually build the confidence you need to make friends in high school.

Imagine your confidence as a muscle.
Each small win is like lifting a weight, gradually making it stronger.

Quick Summary: Conquer social anxiety by understanding its impact and using practical tips to overcome shyness.
Build confidence through small wins and celebrate your progress along the way.

Making Connections: Initiating and Sustaining Conversations

Now that you’re equipped with strategies to conquer social anxiety, let’s dive into the art of initiating and sustaining conversations.
Knowing how to start conversations in high school is a crucial skill for making connections and building friendships.

Approaching People and Starting Conversations

Approaching someone new can feel intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be.
Here are some tips for making a positive first impression:

  • Choose the right time and place: Approach people when they’re not busy or distracted.
  • Smile and make eye contact: A warm smile and direct eye contact convey friendliness and approachability.
  • Use an appropriate greeting: A simple “Hi” or “Hello” is usually sufficient.
  • Offer a genuine compliment: Compliment something you admire about the person, such as their style or a project they’re working on.

Here are some conversation starters to break the ice:

  • “What did you think of today’s class?”
  • “Are you excited about the upcoming school event?”
  • “I really like your [item of clothing/accessory].
    Where did you get it?”

Asking Open-Ended Questions and Showing Genuine Interest

Once you’ve initiated a conversation, it’s important to keep it flowing.
The key is to ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share their thoughts and experiences.

Examples of open-ended questions:

  • “What are you passionate about?”
  • “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?”
  • “What are your goals for the future?”

Active listening is just as important as asking questions.
Show genuine interest by:

  • Making eye contact
  • Nodding and smiling to show you’re engaged
  • Summarizing what they’ve said to ensure you understand
  • Asking follow-up questions to delve deeper

Finding Common Ground and Building Rapport

As you talk to someone, look for common interests and experiences.
This will help you build rapport and establish a connection.

Here are some ways to find common ground:

  • Share your own experiences and interests
  • Ask about their favorite movies, music, books, or hobbies
  • Discuss current events or school-related topics
  • Look for shared values or beliefs

Actionable advice: If you discover a shared interest, suggest doing something together related to that interest, like going to a concert or working on a project.

Testimonial: “I used to be so nervous about talking to people, but once I started focusing on asking questions and really listening, I found it so much easier to connect with others.
Now I have a great group of friends who share my interests.” – Sarah, High School Senior

Initiating and sustaining conversations is a skill that improves with practice.
By following these tips and showing genuine interest in others, you’ll be well on your way to making connections and building meaningful friendships in high school.

Think of conversations as a dance.
You lead, they lead, and together you create a rhythm.

Quick Summary: Learn how to approach people, start conversations, ask open-ended questions, and show genuine interest to build rapport.
Finding common ground is key to establishing connections and fostering friendships.

Now that you’re making connections, it’s essential to understand the dynamics of high school friendships.
Navigating the social scene involves understanding different types of friendships, dealing with challenges, and maintaining relationships over time.

Understanding Different Types of Friendships: Acquaintances, Casual Friends, Close Friends

Not all friendships are created equal.
It’s helpful to recognize the different levels of friendship:

  • Acquaintances: People you know and interact with occasionally, but don’t have a deep connection with.
  • Casual Friends: People you spend time with regularly and enjoy their company, but don’t share personal details or provide emotional support.
  • Close Friends: People you trust, confide in, and rely on for emotional support.

Table of Friendship Levels:

Level Interaction Frequency Emotional Intimacy Trust Level Examples
Acquaintances Occasional Low Low Classmates, people you see in the hallway
Casual Friends Regular Medium Medium People you hang out with at lunch or after school
Close Friends Frequent High High Best friends, people you confide in

It’s important to have a mix of different types of friendships.
Acquaintances can expand your social circle, casual friends can provide companionship, and close friends can offer emotional support.

Dealing with Bullying, Toxic Friendships, and Rejection

Unfortunately, not all social interactions are positive.
It’s important to be aware of bullying, toxic friendships, and rejection, and know how to deal with them.

  • Bullying: Bullying is aggressive behavior that is intended to harm or intimidate another person.
    If you’re being bullied, it’s important to tell a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, or counselor.
  • Toxic Friendships: Toxic friendships are relationships that are draining, negative, and harmful.
    Signs of a toxic friendship include constant criticism, jealousy, manipulation, and a lack of support.
  • Rejection: Rejection is a painful experience, but it’s a normal part of life.
    It’s important to remember that not everyone will like you, and that’s okay.

Practical exercises:

  • If you’re being bullied, document the incidents and report them to the appropriate authorities.
  • If you’re in a toxic friendship, distance yourself from the person and seek support from other friends or family members.
  • If you’re experiencing rejection, focus on your positive qualities and seek out supportive relationships.

Red flags in toxic friendships: constant drama, one-sided support, and feeling emotionally drained after spending time together.

Fun Fact: According to a study by the American Psychological Association, having strong social connections is associated with better mental and physical health.

Maintaining Friendships Over Time and Distance

Maintaining friendships requires effort and commitment.
Here are some tips for keeping your friendships strong:

  • Stay in touch: Make an effort to communicate regularly, whether it’s through text messages, phone calls, or social media.
  • Make time for each other: Schedule regular get-togethers, even if it’s just for a quick coffee or a walk in the park.
  • Be supportive: Offer your friends emotional support and encouragement during difficult times.
  • Be forgiving: No one is perfect.
    Be willing to forgive your friends for their mistakes.
  • Celebrate each other’s successes: Share in your friends’ joys and accomplishments.

Maintaining friendships over time and distance requires effort, but it’s a worthwhile investment in your social well-being.
By staying in touch, making time for each other, and offering support, you can keep your friendships strong for years to come.

Quick Summary: Understand different types of friendships, deal with bullying, toxic friendships, and rejection, and maintain friendships over time and distance.
These skills will help you navigate the high school social scene and build lasting relationships.

The Social Media Maze: Navigating Online Friendships

Social media is a huge part of high school life, but it’s important to use it wisely.

  • Connect, don’t compare: Use social media to stay in touch with friends and discover new interests, but avoid comparing yourself to others.
  • Be authentic: Present your true self online, rather than trying to be someone you’re not.
  • Set boundaries: Limit your social media use and prioritize real-life interactions.
  • Be mindful of your digital footprint: What you post online can have long-term consequences.

Remember, likes and followers don’t equal genuine connection.

The Power of Self-Compassion

One of the most important things you can do is to be kind to yourself.

  • Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend.
  • Acknowledge your imperfections and learn from your mistakes.
  • Practice self-care and prioritize your well-being.

Self-compassion is the foundation for building strong, healthy relationships.

When to Say Goodbye: Ending a Friendship

Sometimes, friendships run their course, or become unhealthy.
It’s okay to end a friendship if it’s no longer serving you.

  • Communicate openly and honestly: Explain your reasons for ending the friendship.
  • Set clear boundaries: Avoid mixed signals and be firm in your decision.
  • Allow yourself time to grieve: Ending a friendship can be painful, even if it’s the right thing to do.

Remember, you deserve to be surrounded by people who support and uplift you.

Conclusion

Finding your place in the high school social landscape can feel like a daunting task.
But, by embracing authenticity, exploring your interests through extracurriculars, initiating conversations, building confidence, practicing self-compassion and navigating social media wisely, you can create a fulfilling social life.
Remember, what is the best way to make friends in high school is not about changing who you are, but about connecting with people who appreciate you for who you are.

The journey to meaningful friendships may have its bumps, but with resilience and a willingness to put yourself out there, you’ll discover a supportive network of friends who enrich your high school experience and beyond.
Take the first step today and start building the friendships you deserve!

FAQ

What if I’m new to a school mid-year?

Joining a new school mid-year can be tough as established social circles already exist.
Focus on introducing yourself to classmates, teachers, and staff.
Join clubs or activities right away to meet people with shared interests.
Don’t be afraid to strike up conversations, and be patient as it takes time to build relationships.

Attend school events, like sports games or dances, to meet new people in a fun, relaxed setting.

How do I navigate friendships when one friend is dating someone?

When a friend starts dating, it can shift group dynamics.
Be supportive of their relationship, but also maintain your own connection with them.
Avoid being overly critical or jealous.
Plan activities that don’t always involve the couple, and communicate openly about any concerns or feelings of being left out.

Open communication is key.
Talk to your friend about how you’re feeling and work together to find a balance.

What if I have a disability or special need; how do I make friends?

Focus on your strengths and interests, and seek out clubs or activities that align with them.
Be open about your disability or special need, and educate others about it.
Connect with support groups or organizations that cater to individuals with similar needs.
Remember, your unique perspective and experiences are valuable assets in building friendships.

Reach out to the school counselor or special education department for support and resources.

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